


Comfort

by DerKatzenprinz



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Found Family, Gen, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, caleb has good friends who love him, friendships, not canon compliant (re: mollymauk), spoilers past episode 36
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25740739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DerKatzenprinz/pseuds/DerKatzenprinz
Summary: Nine times the Nein comfort their wizard, each in their own way. A series of unconnected moments in which Caleb is shown how much his found family are there for him.
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 109
Kudos: 308





	1. Jester

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladygabe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladygabe/gifts).



> Nine times the Nein comfort Caleb~
> 
> I love five times fics and this wizard, and someone I care about a lot has needed some comfort lately, so this idea popped into my head and I have not been able to stop.
> 
> Welcome to the first chapter: Jester! 
> 
> Caleb and Molly are my ship of ships, my one true OTP. They're in an established relationship that is mentioned throughout. If I decide to include other ships in future chapters, I will include side pairings in the tags. 
> 
> I am hoping to update this with a new chapter every other day, since so far I am on a roll ~ ;D ~ with getting it written. So chapter 2 can be expected on Friday, 8/7! No hints on who it'll be comforting Caleb next! 
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you enjoy it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Presence.

It’s not unusual for Jester to be the first one awake in the Xhorhaus, ever the morning tiefling. It is unusual, however, for her to think that she is and traipse downstairs, humming, only to fall silent when a familiar glowing ball of light catches her attention from down the hall. 

“Cay-leb?”

She sees him jolt. He’s sat on the floor, leaned back against the wall, and he raises his head at the sound of her voice. Only to duck back down. His hair falls into his face. She can hear him sniffle, and she pads over to him quickly, dropping down in front of him. 

He doesn’t look up, but he lets her put her hand over his. 

“Have you been up all night?” She asks, keeping her voice soft. 

“Ah, ja. Ja. I…” 

She waits patiently for him to find the words. 

“...got anxious.” 

Jester shuffles closer, the skirt of her nightgown draped around her. “Don’t you normally wake Molly up?”

“He is having a sleepover with Yasha.” 

“Oh, yeah, I heard them giggling until it got reeeeally late. What about Frumpkin?”

Caleb’s voice seems slightly lighter as he murmurs, “He is an octopus right now, and I do not have what I need to change him back yet. Tentacle cuddles are not as enjoyable as fluffy katze cuddles.” 

The cackle Jester lets out makes Caleb finally lift his head. Her nose is scrunched up, trying to hold in laughter. But it’s clear in her voice, dropped in tone the way it does when she feels particularly mischievous. “Does he leave, like, little hickeys all over you from his little suckers?” She makes a bunch of slurping noises and pops her lips a few times. 

One small, quiet chuckle leaves Caleb. 

“Quite a few,” he says. 

“Almost as many as Moooolly leaves on you?” 

That gets a light flush, but Caleb tilts his head, drops his voice like he’s sharing a secret, and whispers, “Almost.” 

When Jester gives his hand a small squeeze, Caleb returns it. 

Then Jester gives it a tug. “Come with me. I have a secret and if you promise not to tell anyone, not even Molly, I’ll show you.” 

There’s a moment of hesitation, but Caleb lets her pull him up once she’s up on her feet, her tail swishing behind her. He brushes off his cheeks and blinks at her. “You know that I am very weak to Molly pouting at me, ja? This had better be something he cannot weedle out of me.” 

“He won’t even know about it unless you tell him, so he won’t have any reason to weedle! Come onnn.” 

Jester drags Caleb with her down the hall toward the stairs. As they come close, she slows and looks around as if any of the others have woken up, even though there has been absolutely no sign of them. It’s still so early that even Caduceus can’t be heard making mass breakfast for everyone in the kitchen yet.

Watching her with interest, and his arms wrapped around himself, Caleb stands back while Jester goes to the closet underneath the stairs and looks back over her shoulder at him with a sneaky grin. She pulls it open, motioning him over with the tip of her tail. The corner of his lip quirks as he comes and pokes his head in. 

There is nothing particularly special as far as he can tell. Just extra towels and candles for the lanterns. But then Jester reaches to a shelf, pushes everything on it aside, and reveals… a breadbox. One which, once she opens it, reveals at least a dozen cupcakes. 

“It’s my secret stash!”

“I… see.” 

“Caduceus gave me this breadbox. It magically refills and keeps cupcakes fresh every day. And now you know about it! So any time you feel anxious you can come and help yourself. I know it doesn’t fix things, but they always make me feel-” 

Caleb reaches out to pick one of the cupcakes up and takes a small bite, while Jester watches delightedly. 

“Thank you, Jester,” he says softly, licking icing from the corner of his mouth. 

She beams at him and takes a cupcake of her own. “You’re welcome.” 

There are footsteps above. 

Quickly, Jester closes the breadbox, hides it again with a bundle of towels, and the two of them go as fast as they can back down the hall to sit opposite each with their treats. Caleb lets his globes of light go out. A few moments later, they can see Caduceus go into the kitchen, using his staff to light his way. Caleb thinks he sees the firbolg’s ears swivel back towards them, but he doesn’t turn around or stop.

They sit in the quiet hall together and eat a few more bites before Jester whispers, “I’m going to go ask him if we can have cinnamon rolls for breakfast.”

“That is a lot of sweets,” Caleb comments, pointedly looking right at her half-devoured cupcake. 

“Mmhm!” 

He smirks, but doesn’t get up. Just takes another bite of his own. 

Before she pads off, Jester tells him softly, “I’m really glad it could help.” 

She gets only a few steps before Caleb’s voice follows her. “Jester.”

When she turns around, he’s smiling, looking far brighter than when she’d found him, even though now he sits in the dark. 

“It wasn’t the cupcake that helped.”

Later, though, after dinner, Jester sneaks into the closet and finds another of them gone.


	2. Fjord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> Thank you for everyone who has read the first chapter so far, and especially those who have left kudos, comments, or bookmarked. I appreciate it very much and am so glad people are enjoying this! 
> 
> I've been thinking about the chapter titles and I am going to leave them as just the names like I have been, but the summaries are going to start having the alternate titles in them of what each member of the Nein is giving to Caleb. I've gone back and added the alternative title to chapter 1~ 
> 
> These chapters have just been pouring out of me. So far I have 6 of 9 (nein!) finished, so I'm going to stick with an every-other-day uploading schedule, meaning chapter 3 will be up on Sunday, 8/9! 
> 
> But for now, I hope you all have a nice dip with Fjord and Caleb~

Shivering and sore, Fjord wants nothing more than to slide into the steaming water of the hot tub. Workouts with Beau were becoming harder and harder. She’d convinced him to come out with her for a mid-winter run, saying that it would make his lungs stronger and build up his tolerance. 

_“Once we get going you won’t even notice it’s cold!”_

She was a damn liar. 

She’d rolled her eyes at him when they got back, but smirked and said, “ _Guess you can take the Captain out of Damali but you can’t take Damali out of the Captain._ ” 

“... _’I'm getting in the hot tub."_

It’s so late when he steps into the MT bathhouse, Fjord startles at seeing Caleb sitting on the far side of the tub with his feet dangling down into the water almost up to his knees. Him jumping makes Caleb also start and jerk his legs up with a slosh. 

“Sorry! Sorry, Caleb. I didn’t know you’d be in here. When you are you’re usually with Molly and, ah, we all know not to come in.” 

Fjord can tell that Caleb tries to smirk, but doesn’t quite manage it. 

“Are you alright?”

Caleb is still and watches the water for a long moment before he shrugs one shoulder. “I got frustrated with a spell I’m working on.” He doesn’t look up. 

“Did you come in here for some space? I can go, if you-”

“Nein, no. You can stay,” Caleb says. 

There’s a pause in which Fjord slowly pads over to the edge of the tub opposite Caleb. He’d bundled up in a robe before coming down and pulls it up so he can mimic Caleb and put his feet into the water. He sighs in relief, but Caleb misinterprets the noise and shifts, rubbing the scars on one of his arms before speaking.

“I thought a bath might be helpful. Soothing. It’s one of the main things that works when Molly...“

He doesn’t have to finish. They all know what Molly’s panic attacks are like. 

Fjord regards Caleb with empathy before clearing his throat. “You know, a bath usually means getting fully in the tub.” 

“I didn’t get that far,” Caleb murmurs. “But maybe…” 

Without another pause, Fjord shrugs his robe off and slides into the bath. The heat of it against his winter-bitten skin is a shock to his body and makes him hiss for a second, but it soon makes all of his muscles relax and he stays under the surface up to his shoulders. 

All he has to do is look at Caleb, who finally meets his gaze, and the wizard unfolds the towel around his waist, following Fjord into the water. He closes his eyes and sinks down until his chin is almost submerged. Shorter tendrils of hair at the base of Caleb’s neck get wet, fallen out of the loose bun he has the rest pulled up into. 

They crouch together in the bath for a moment, awkward silence spreading. 

“Do you think... shouting... would help?” Fjord asks tentatively, finally breaking it. 

“ _Was_? Shouting?” The bemused expression that crosses Caleb’s face shows his clear bewilderment over the idea. 

“You know… shouting,” Fjord tries. He lifts a hand to rub over his face as Caleb’s look becomes flat. “Just… when I was only a deckhand, still learning knots and the ins and outs of riggings, it was frustrating, some days. Whenever I felt it building up inside me, I would go to whatever part of the ship was facing the same direction the wind blew, and I would shout into it. My voice would be carried off, over the waves, and I’d feel better. Like I got at least little of it out of me.” 

More silence stretches while Caleb looks at him with his brow pulled in. But then his gaze shifts, glancing around the room. “If I shouted in here it would echo. All the others would run in thinking I was drowning or something.”

“Hm. Fair point.” 

Caleb sinks lower into the water, just past his lips, and Fjord blinks. 

“What about underwater?” 

Blue eyes stare at him, unconvinced. 

Fjord dips lower, too, sloshing the surface slightly. “I’ll do it with you. I could use a good shout after running through half of Xhorhas while it’s freezing outside.” 

He can’t tell whether or not Caleb really smirks at him, even though the gentle lift at the corner of his eyes suggests it. When Caleb nods, Fjord nods back. 

“Alright. Here we go.” 

Another pause, in which Caleb’s eyebrows rise. 

“Uh, now!” 

Both of them bob and disappear under the water at once. Fjord opens his eyes, seeing Caleb across from him, and then, with all of his air, yells. He watches Caleb hesitate. Only for a second. 

Caleb’s mouth opens and his muffled voice bubbles up in the water, too. They stay under until their lungs begin aching. 

When they rise back up, Caleb gasps for breath, pushing dripping strands of hair back from his face. He coughs a couple of times, swallows, and falls quiet. 

Right as Fjord is about to ask if it helped, Caleb murmurs, “I will have to remember this.” 

Beginning to smile at him, Fjord asks, “Like you remember everything else?” 

It earns him a small smile back, at last. The new quiet is comfortable and much more at ease. 

Until Caleb says, “One more time?”

“Let’s do it.”


	3. Veth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Security.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Another huge thank you to everyone who's been reading, leaving kudos and comments, and bookmarking this. I appreciate it so much. I'm really loving writing this. 
> 
> This chapter was one of the easier ones. I put some of my personal experiences in it, so it's particularly comforting to me.
> 
> Next update with be on Tuesday, 8/11!

“RRRRRAAAAAaaaaaghh! Let us the FUCK OUT OF HERE! Let us go! Hey, don’t you walk away from me! Fuck you!” 

Veth screams again, her voice full of rage as she rattles bars that had slammed only a moment before. It has absolutely no effect beyond a scornful, low laugh as one of three townsguards glances back at them with a sneer. The guards leave the cells behind through an old oak door that shuts heavily. An iron bar is slotted down across it from the other side with a clang. A clang nowhere near as loud as the clattering of Veth gripping the gate, jerking as hard as she can, kicking it while she continues to yell. 

The first time, Caleb’s voice doesn’t carry enough for her to hear him. 

But when it rises and she hears, “Please,” she stops. Stops and turns to see him pressed far back into the corner. He has one arm around himself, fingers clenched into his own clothes so tightly they’ve turned white. His other hand presses over his face, hiding his eyes. He trembles. 

It brings back the image of him the day they met. Scared, making himself small, in a jail where he had been all alone. 

It takes her two strides to get to him, reaching up to place her hands on his arm gently. Her voice is far softer, concerned, as she calls his name. “Caleb. Can you look at me?” 

He doesn’t uncover his eyes, but shifts his arm down from around himself to clutch one of her hands. She rubs from his wrist to his elbow with the other and smooths her thumb across his fingers. “Take your time.” 

As Caleb stands with his back pressed hard against the stones, Veth says, “We’re going to get out of here. You know I won’t let them keep us in here, or let anyone find you. We’ll be back with the others soon. But you’re not alone now. I’m here. Right here with you, and I’m not going anywhere without you. See?” 

She squeezes his hand again, in a rhythm. Squeeze. Squeeze squeeze. Squeeze Squeeze. 

After a pause, she says, “Feel that? Come on, Caleb. I know you can do it.” 

Another pause. 

Then Caleb repeats it, squeezing back. 

“Good! That’s great! Do it one more time.” 

He does. He brings his other hand down, letting her take it, too. Letting himself look at her, trying to focus on her in the dim space. 

Veth gazes up at him with care. “Are you ready to get out of here?” 

“Very.” 

“Alright. I’ve got an idea. I can get a key from one of the guards, but to get them back in here, you should do that fake heart attack act of yours. I’ll scream and call for help. They’ll have to come and I’ll use my mage hand to lift the key off them.” 

Caleb’s mouth pulls to one side, dubious. “I’m worried they would be able to hear my heart pounding.” 

“I can’t, so they can’t,” Veth reassures him. She smiles encouragingly. “It worked on Jester and the others that one time. Plus, they won't come inside the cell to check on you themselves, unless they're really idiots. I believe in you.” 

Waiting until Caleb’s hands stop shaking in hers, until he’s taken a few deep breaths, Veth doesn’t move away or let go of him. 

He lets loose a large, audible breath. “Ok.” 

As soon as he drops down into a heap on the floor of the cell, Veth begins screaming anew. It takes a few minutes for her words to seem to rouse alarm, during which Caleb doesn’t move whatsoever. Veth feels a swell of pride for him. 

The oak door is unlocked and opened. One townsguard leans in, sees Caleb on the floor while Veth keeps shouting frantically, and blanches. 

“Go get a physician!” He calls over his shoulder. There are rushing footsteps. The guard comes in alone and comes to the gate of their cell, looking down at Caleb. “What happened to him?” 

“He just fell over! Do something! I don’t think he’s breathing!” 

The guard leans to peer at Caleb, so Veth steps into his line of sight and begins begging. He frowns at her and points. “In the corner. Don’t move.” 

So he's an idiot.

The time it takes him to open the cell gate is agonizing. Veth stands in the corner and pretends to sob, “Oh, Caleb, I’m so sorry. This wasn’t part of the plan!” 

She knows that Caleb understands because she can see his eyes open and meet hers before he jerks upward. The guard, in the process of kneeling next to him, falls back on his ass in surprise. 

As his mouth opens to begin yelling, Caleb casts a spell. 

The guard drops. 

“Shit!” Veth gasps. 

“We have one minute before he wakes up,” Caleb says, spinning toward her. “Let’s get out of here!” 

They streak out of the cell, through the oak door, and out of the jail. As soon as they reach the busier market area, they slow, weaving into the crowd of people. Caleb reaches to take Veth’s hand and keep her with him while they scan for the rest of the Nein. 

He gives it a series of squeezes, like before.


	4. Caduceus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once again! This is probably my favourite chapter so far and one of the very first that came into my head for this fic. I really, really enjoy writing this wonderful firbolg. 
> 
> I have also updated the tags to reflect some possible trigger warnings included in this chapter. Please check those out before reading.
> 
> Still well ahead with the remaining chapters, so keeping with the every two days update schedule. Next chapter will be up 8/13, hopefully an hour or two before the next stream! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much to everyone who has read this. It means a lot. Please leave a comment, give kudos, and bookmark if you're enjoying it!

Quiet. The whole Xhorhaus was quiet. In the mid-afternoon, with all of them home, it was disconcerting. The normal sounds of banter, bickering, laughter, and footsteps going up and down the stairs were all replaced with the crackle of the fireplace in the grand room off the entry, an occasional muffled groan, and, otherwise, silence. 

Sometimes recovering from battle was not as simple as healing spells. Particularly when Caduceus’ magic had been used up and Jester had gone down. Her last big powerful spell had to be used on herself. Even then, it had only been enough to repair her bones and seal the tear across her back. 

They’d all have to wait for morning to come to heal up. 

Apart from Caleb and Caduceus. Caduceus, who busied himself in the kitchen right away, and Caleb, who-

“Caleb? Caleb?  _ Caleb,  _ hey.” 

Pulled from the flames he’d been staring at, Caleb turns his head to the firbolg, coming up from the storeroom. When had Caduceus even passed him to go down there? He has no memory of it. That fact makes his nails scratch more anxiously across already raw skin. “Sorry, I-” 

“You need to quit that. That’s no good,” Caduceus says. His eyes unapologetically look to where Caleb has absently been hurting himself.

Caleb’s head lowers, chin almost to his chest, hair falling to hide his face. 

“What are you feeling right now?”

It is asked gently. Caring. 

Caleb’s response is barely heard. “Guilty.” 

Cadueus’ ears flick. “Why would you feel guilty?”

Head tilting to the side and up, Caleb looks at Caduceus through strands of auburn that glow vibrantly from the firelight. “I kept myself out of the fray, when I could have done more.”

There is a pause, while Caduceus sets down the small crate he’d been carrying toward the kitchen. As he straightens again, he says, “It wasn’t your fault that some of us got hurt.” 

“It wasn’t some of us. It was everyone. And I could have-”

“We don’t know what you could have done. But what you did was teleport us out of there. You managed to draw a circle in the middle of a fight so we could run. That was the best thing you could’ve done. It would’ve been a lot worse if we’d stayed.” 

The way Caduceus says it is steady, as he normally speaks. It’s an easy earnestness. 

“It’s easy when things go so wrong to feel like the actions you normally take aren’t enough. But you normally stay back a ways and do very well because that’s where you’re comfortable, and this time it’s what gave you time to help all of us get back here. We’re all very grateful.” 

That has Caleb lifting his head more. Uncertainty shows within his eyes, in the pull of his brow together. His fingers twitch against his arm, until Caduceus reaches out and covers them with his own large hand.

“Let’s find something else for you to do with these, alright?”

That’s how Caleb finds himself carrying the crate to the kitchen, then helping to quickly get the oven lit, and the hearth with the newly filled kettle hanging from its crane. And then, after all that, he ends up wearing an overlarge apron that he has to fold up and tuck into the straps which go around his waist two full times. 

He spends the early evening baking cupcakes with Caduceus, after the firbolg makes him wash his hands and the raw skin on his arm thoroughly. 

It’s soothing, and Caduceus offers him smiles and thanks throughout. It makes Caleb glad to be doing something for his little family that might make them feel a bit better. Especially as he learns how to mix lavender into frosting, specifically for Mollymauk. 

“How are you feeling now?” Caduceus asks, when the final batch has been slid into the oven. Two dozen are already cooling on a countertop. 

Caleb lowers the mug of tea he’d accepted and says, “Useful. Better. I have been thinking of what you told me. I…” His tone softens. “I did well today.” 

“You did,” Caduceus agrees, warmth thick in his voice. 

He’s given a smile in return. 

“Now, will you help me with one more thing and take these,” Caduceus indicates the half-dozen blueberry cupcakes they’d made, “and put them in the breadbox that’s in the closet under the stairs? Just push things aside and you’ll find it.” 

Caleb blinks. “That isn’t magic? You… you have been refilling it every day.” 

“I’ve found that sometimes you need to help a person see the other side of things and make sure they know what’s true. But also that sometimes it’s alright to let people believe what they want. As long as they aren’t hurting themselves because of it. And how can magic cupcakes be harmful?” 

Meeting Caduceus’ eyes, Caleb chuckles a little. “You’ve got me there.”


	5. Yasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five! The halfway point! This chapter is the one that I had such a clear visual of in my head. I hope it's that way for all of your reading it. 
> 
> I only have two chapters left to write, because I gave myself a couple of break days, and I know exactly what those chapters are going to be~ 
> 
> Next update will be Saturday, 8/15. 
> 
> Thank you as always for reading this little fic, commenting, leaving kudos, and bookmarking it! I hope you keep enjoying it!

Caleb is a lone figure as he walks through smoke. The wispy, cloud-like, drifting smoke that comes from rain putting out a huge fire. It coils low around his shins, obscuring his footfalls as he steps slowly. It completely envelops the ground. 

He’s getting soaked, but doesn’t seem bothered by it. Or even to really notice it. 

He already knows that the men who attacked their camp are gone. Ashes mixing into the mud. Yet his eyes still search, in case. 

Whether to save one of them or put them out of their misery, he doesn’t know. 

He doesn’t know how he might have reacted, either, if Yasha didn’t call his name as she comes towards him from his left. She is only a dark silhouette until she is close enough that the tendrils of smog part to reveal her. She already has her hands lifted cautiously to pacify him if she needs to. 

Their gazes meet with a strike of lightning that makes the smoke glow for a few seconds.

“What are you doing out here?” She asks in her soft tone. She is as unaffected by the rain as Caleb is. 

“Just surveying what I did. This could have gotten very out of control. It is, ah, quite lucky that this storm rolled in.” 

Thunder trails after the lightning the moment he’s finished speaking. 

“Did you mean to cast the fire wall?”

Caleb stops, his boots sinking into the ground some, though if he were to look down, he wouldn’t be able to see them. Yasha stands next to him, simply watching him without any sort of judgement. Instead, she seems to be reflecting while Caleb shrugs one shoulder. 

“I meant to cast it, but it was reckless. I was acting out of anger, without thinking about how the fire would spread or who else might get hurt by it. I am glad that none of you were near it.” 

More thunder rumbles. 

“I lose control, too, sometimes. Or, sometimes it feels that way,” Yasha says, picking her words carefully. She folds her arms around herself. “I started to try to keep myself from showing my emotions. Especially when I felt anger.”

“But you are often stronger when you are fighting with rage in your veins,” Caleb points out gently. 

Yasha surprises him by laughing lightly. “Yeah, I’m not really good at suppressing it.”

“I didn’t mean-“

“I know,” she says, offering him an understanding smile. “I’m glad that I am like that. Whenever I tried to push down how I feel, it usually made things worse. Is it not that way for you?” 

“Oh, well, it is something I am very practiced in. Normally. Or… I used to be.” 

Caleb gestures, wisps parting around his hand.

“I think it’s good that you’re letting yourself feel what you feel more,” Yasha tells him. “We were outnumbered. You gave us an advantage. Um… I think that you’re stronger, too, when you don’t hold things inside. Not just in fights.”

The smoke begins to fade as the last of the dying embers in blackened grass are doused by the storm and the earth is cooled. It picks up in strength, beginning to batter against them. Muffled, they can hear their names being called by Molly and Veth from the area they moved their camp to.

“They’re going to get worried. Are you ready to go back?” Yasha asks.

“Did Mollymauk send you to get me?” Caleb replies, not moving. 

“No. He thought you might need some space.” 

Caleb nods a little. He had thought so, too. But-

“I just...” Yasha murmurs, “...had a feeling.” 

As she turns around, Caleb suddenly asks, “Were you able to pick any of the flowers?”

This whole area had been a field full of them, before.

Yasha shakes her head. “No. I was going to before we left. But that’s ok. There will be others.” 

Looking down, the rain-slick ground is finally visible. Black patches are streaked all across it. There is no other colour, as there had been before, where wildflowers had grown across the expanse and where Yasha had been laying down amongst them before the attack. 

“I’m sorry,” Caleb murmurs. 

Yasha’s hand comes down tentatively, but warm, on his shoulder. 

“I don’t know if you know- um, well, you might. You know a lot...” she starts, then shakes her head a little. Caleb looks at her curiously until she forges on. “There are some types of flowers that, after a fire, they grow back better.”

Caleb looks at the razed ground. “From this?” 

“Mm. They’ll be stronger. Maybe we can come back some day to see them.”

Yasha can see when Caleb relaxes and is sure that he’s imagining the field as it was, only more beautiful than ever. When he blinks, droplets fall from his lashes. “I will remember where we are, so that we can,” he promises. Glancing back at her, his tone falls into shyness. “As well as what you said. I would like to be stronger.” 

“We can keep growing at it,” Yasha replies, her smile growing. 

Quickly looking down, Caleb laughs once, running a hand through his hair. “Ja, though the rain won’t help us like it will the flowers. Let’s get back to camp.” 

“Ok. But, Caleb.”

“Ja?”

“Rain always helps.”


	6. Essek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Empathy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, and this one has been my absolute favourite so far. It came so easily and I'm really proud of how it turned out. Apologies that it's being posted later than I normally put them up!
> 
> Next chapter will be up Monday, 8/17! 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading so far, especially those of you leaving kudos and commenting. It makes my day every time I get those notifications.

It is the fourth time Essek has joined the Mighty Nein on one of their adventures, since they insist he is officially one of them now. He’d found the first invigorating, delving into an old temple to find answers about a stash of supposed treasure. Their connection, the Gentleman, had wanted them to collect it, with the promise of a portion being allotted to them. Part of the treasure had been a library, and he and Caleb had come away with great spoils. The second had been terribly boring, sailing for two weeks to check in on inhabitants of an island they’d once visited where the sun had been merciless and Essek had learned that he gets seasick if he isn’t floating. Molly had teased relentlessly. 

The third had been an insane encounter with a white dragon they had once angered. Essek came away with his first battle scars.

There is no way to anticipate what will occur on this expedition. So far, at least, he is enjoying it. The Ruby of the Sea had called on her daughter to assist her with something. They had been in Nicodranis for two nights so far and Essek is beginning to suspect she had simply missed Jester, hoping she would visit and bring along her friends. 

It’s still odd to think of himself as holding that place amongst them. 

It is odder, still, to notice Caleb sneaking out of the Lavish Chateau on his own once the sun has set. Essek watches his progress towards the beach from the balcony of the room he’d graciously been granted. 

He decides to follow. 

It’s particularly easy once he reaches sand and hovers over the footprints Caleb left, slowly angling near the tide until Essek sees him ahead. 

Caleb sits in the sand, knees pulled up close to his chest with his arms around them, his head tilted back. He seems to be looking at the stars. Essek would leave him in peace, if Caleb’s expression didn’t look so lost. 

“What are you doing out here?” 

Blinking sharply, Caleb turns his head, sees Essek, and says, “Um.” Then he gestures to the wet sand beside him. When Essek frowns at it, Caleb chuckles, though it is a sound without warmth, eclipsed with heavy thoughts. “It is not so bad, sand between your toes.”

“I am more thinking of my clothes.” 

“We  _ are _ staying at a fancy dancy inn where you can have them washed. The more you travel with us, the more you will get used to being dirty.” 

Even though he still frowns, Essek drops his magic that keeps him floating and his bare feet touch the sand. He sits down gingerly next to Caleb, ears twitching down and brow scrunching even while he says, “I have been told quite the opposite about you.” 

“Ach, ja, well. There is a difference between getting filthy in battle and purposefully being covered in muck.” 

“You would not call this purposeful?” Essek asks. 

Caleb’s next chuckle comes out a little more real. Then he looks back up at the dark sky. 

“Why are you out here?” Essek wonders once more. 

He can tell that Caleb hadn’t even considered that himself, as the redhead’s gaze shifts from star to star to moon to star. Essek gives him the time to figure it out. 

“I missed the Xhorhaus. I suppose I am sick for it. There is a word for that. Homesick?”

That admission is unexpected. It seems to catch Caleb off-guard, too. But Caleb continues before Essek can think of a response. “I’ve been thinking about being gathered in the kitchen until Caduceus shoos us out, and of our war room that we have never once used. Of looking up at the roots of the tree while floating in the hot tub. Occasional explosions from Veth’s lab. Watching Molly painting his nails on the chaise in our room. And sitting up in those high branches sometimes with Beau, remembering the Empire, but… not wanting to go back.

“I came from somewhere nowhere like Rosohna. A farming village. It was sprawling, predictable, and it was bright during the day. So bright. I used to miss it dearly. I do, still, sometimes. But more often,” Caleb pauses, taking in a breath. “More often, I want to be back in that house, in that city where things are more compressed, and there is no telling what any day will bring. And where it is always dark. I think that is what surprises me the most.” 

Essek waits when Caleb trails off, then turns his gaze up, too. “What does?”

“The darkness. How comforting I find it now. How the night sky makes me think of… home.” 

“You have seen much. Many horrifying and painful things,” Essek murmurs, without really knowing what he’s about to say, “In the dark, your eyes can rest.”

It is a moment before Essek notices that Caleb is now looking at him. When he looks back, the lost expression is gone. A smile slowly quirks up the edges of Caleb’s mouth.

It’s mirrored on Essek’s.


	7. Beau

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah, so close to the end now! This chapter is a bit heavier, but it means a lot to me. I love the relationship between Caleb and Beau almost more than any other, so writing them in this moment made me emotional. I also miss hugs, a lot. 
> 
> Two chapters to go! The next will be up on Wednesday, 8/19! 
> 
> Thank you as always to everyone reading, especially for your comments and kudos! <3

“What a fuckin’ day.” 

The campfire snaps and sparks as Beauregard throws down a cushion in front of it, then throws herself down onto it. She crosses her legs and leans back on her palms, sighing. It’s been a calm night so far since they’ve had the dome up. 

It wasn’t before that.

The Nein doesn’t normally take watches anymore. But tonight they were all on edge. 

The lack of response doesn’t surprise Beau, but it has her glancing to the side. Caleb has been sitting awake all evening. His brow looks like it’s going to get stuck, it’s pulled together so tightly. He doesn’t even show any acknowledgement that she’s there until Beau bumps their shoulders together. 

All he does is hum, low. 

His gaze stays down on Molly, whose head is rested in his lap. Caleb’s fingers brush repeatedly through dark waves and rub gingerly at the base of Molly’s horns while the tiefling sleeps, passed out from exhaustion. It doesn’t make Molly so much as twitch, which is telling of how completely worn down he must have been.

Beau leans sideways and nudges Caleb again, but stays there, keeping their arms pressed into each other from shoulder to elbow. She feels him stiffen some. But then he leans into it. 

“It freaked us all out,” she says. 

The whole scene is still too easy to recall. Seeing Molly possessed by some ghost and hearing how it taunted him in his own voice. How it clung to his deepest fears and voiced them. 

_ “I’ll have you hurt your friends. Cut yourself open and then cut them down.” _

_ “You’re terrified of me because you wonder if you could have become what I am.” _

_ “Hollow one. So easy to enter. Still so empty.” _

Caleb clenches his eyes shut. His fingers sift through Molly’s hair with more persistence.  He takes a deep breath, then murmurs, “I have never felt him shake like he did once we got that ghost was out of him. And then he still fought.”

“Molly’s strong. And I would’ve been pissed if a ghost did that to me. I mean, more pissed than I was watching it happen.”

There’s a pause, before she feels Caleb’s shoulders shaking a little. Beau looks to him and watches him chuckle. But there is no mirth in his eyes and every inch of him is tense. And he blinks as if his eyes burn, when he finally lifts his eyes to hers. “Considering that you punched it until it evaporated, I would be frightened to see you possessed.”

She understands what he doesn’t say. How frightened he was, and still is, for his lover.

Ghosts still drift around the dome. Sometimes they stop and seem to stare in at them. Beau has flipped several of them off.

Now, however, she tips her head until it knocks into Caleb’s. He winces, shying away and casting her a questioning look. At the same time, his muscles loosen slightly. “What d’you need right now?” Beau asks, keeping her voice hushed so none of the others are woken. Especially not Molly.

“Me? I am fine,” Caleb says.

Beau bops him again and he grumbles something in Zemnian. And still relaxes more.

Gaze dropping back down to Molly, Caleb shifts his touch to wipe a little bit of dribble from the corner of Molly’s lips. Beau makes a muffled gagging sound beside him, to which he responds by wiggling his fingers threateningly towards her. 

“Keep your boyfriend’s drool to yourself,” she says, batting his hand away and wrinkling her nose. “Does he always do that?” 

“Most of the time,” Caleb replies, fondness coming into his voice. “Especially when he is being like when Frumpkin is an octopus and clinging onto me. He has woken up before and asked me why I was wet.” 

“What, do you just  _ let _ him drool on you?” 

“That’s what he said, too.”

It’s good to see Caleb smirk for just a moment. Even if it fades and the disquiet settles again. Caleb sighs as he begins playing with one of the charms that dangles from Molly’s horns. 

Beau puts her hand on his knee.

Without warning, Caleb moves his arm away from hers and Beau thinks he’s going to ask her to leave him alone. Only his arm wraps around her slowly instead. It’s tentative, and his fingers hover a little on her bicep while she mumbles, “Uh, oh, uh, ok.” 

“Is it-” 

“Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting it, but…” Beau meets his eyes and lifts her arm, too, slinging it around his back. “C’mere.” 

She pulls him into her side to lean on her. It takes them both a few moments, but they relax against each other eventually. They don’t say anything more for a long time, letting the contact speak for itself. Only when Caleb begins to slump into Beau, tiredness catching up to him at last, does he say around a yawn, “If the others wake up and tease, you are free to tell them we both got possessed.”

Beau snickers softly and can feel when Caleb lets his full weight sink into her, drifting off. 

“Possessed by huggy ghosts,” she whispers. “Definitely the case.”


	8. Frumpkin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eight chapters in! This is another chapter that was in my head from the very beginning. Frumpkin is such an important member of the Nein and I couldn't possibly leave him out, especially because he's so important to Caleb. 
> 
> These have been such a delight to write and I can't believe that there's only one left to go. And you all KNOW who is going to be giving Caleb comfort in that one~ 
> 
> The final chapter will be posted on Friday, 8/21! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and especially for leaving comments and kudos. I appreciate them all so much.

The spell is so familiar now, which is a fact that always makes Caleb’s stomach twist woefully, because he wishes that it weren’t. Each time he has to cast it there’s a twinge of guilt, especially when it’s taken him days to gather the components. Weeks was unspeakable. The moment they’d gotten back to Rosohna, Molly had nudged him off to the shops, knowing well how Caleb’s stress had been rising. Despite the heavy snowfall coming down on the city. 

Now, crouched on the floor in his library with frost still melting in his hair and on his shoulders, Caleb watches as his familiar wanders back into their realm. 

Frumpkin gives a shake that makes his ears flap, looks up at Caleb with half-illuminated eyes from the candlelight, and meows in greeting. 

There’s no resistance as Caleb scoops him up, hugging him close to his chest. “I’m sorry you got poofed, my friend,” Caleb whispers into his fur. The response is a head bump to his chin. There’s no telling who rubs against whose cheek, but Caleb begins to relax only when he hears and feels the vibrations of Frumpkin beginning to purr. He rubs the softest fluff behind Frumpkin’s ears and breathes out a laugh as his cat tilts his head back, pushing into his hand, mouth partially open so his tiny fangs show.

“I missed you, too.” 

Frumpkin’s purrs strengthen. But he kicks with his back paws until Caleb loosens his arms so he can climb down from the wizard’s lap. Padding over to the fireplace, Frumpkin sits, curls his tail over his paws, and looks at Caleb expectantly. 

“Alright. I’ll get it lit. We don’t want your paws getting chilly, mm?”

A long meow is the reply. 

“You want Mollymauk’s blanket, too?” 

A chirrup.

“I do not know which of you is the more spoiled cat,” Caleb murmurs with a smirk. Standing, he takes up a large fur pelt that had been draped over his favourite chair. Frumpkin moves out of the way as Caleb billows it out and lays it down before the hearth, then pads onto it. His paws become busy with kneading while Caleb gets the fire lit. 

It only takes a small gesture. 

In no time, the room begins to warm. Caleb settles down onto the blanket, stroking Frumpkin with long, languid pets until his cat climbs into his lap, circles up, and flops over with all his weight pushing into Caleb’s belly. 

Caleb chuckles. “You asked for the blanket and you are not even going to lay on it?” 

“Mmmrpt!” 

“It was for me? Oh, because I was out in the snow? You are so clever.” Caleb rumples up Frumpkin’s cheeks a little, then rubs more gently. “And so warm. My lap has been suffering without you.”

After years with Frumpkin as his only companion, Caleb knows the equivalent of a flat look from his familiar when he is on the receiving end of it. Frumpkin’s ears twitch back only just and he stares Caleb directly in the eye until he gives a great yawn. It takes another rumple of his cheeks for him to slow blink at Caleb instead. 

“True, Molly is very warm. But,” Caleb lowers his voice to a murmur, “if he sits in my lap then my legs fall asleep after a while. It is far more comfy to have you here.”

Frumpkin’s tail swishes. It’s definitely a tiefling expression of joy that he’s picked up from Molly which Caleb isn’t sure Frumpkin is even aware of doing. It amuses him every time. 

When his quiet chuckle fades, though, he stares down and strokes Frumpkin for a long time while the snow melts from his clothes and hair. It becomes persistent, as if he can’t physically stop himself. His fingers sift through shiny, silky fur and rub at Frumpkin’s spotted pattern the same way he runs them over certain books. Lovingly and devotedly.

“Oh, Frumpkin. I hate it when you are not here with me. I promise to be more careful where I send you.”

A gentle, raspy meow comes in reply. Amber eyes focus up on him, closing gradually until Frumpkin seems to be falling asleep on Caleb. 

Someone knocks, but those eyes don’t reopen. Frumpkin doesn’t stir except to flick an ear. So Caleb looks to the door and calls, “You can come in!”

It pushes open and Beau leans into the arch. “Hey, we’re all going to- Oh, you’ve got Frumpkin back. Hey, Frump!” She grins, just a small flash, before grimacing as she shivers. “Everyone’s gonna gather in the hot tub. Jester and Veth pummeled Molly and me in a snowball fight. You missed the battle, but you can still come warm up with us.”

“You two thought you would win against a cold-resistant tiefling and a woman who specializes in projectiles?” 

“You know what-” Beau makes a frustrated noise, and then shakes her head. “Are you gonna come?” 

Caleb smiles and nods, but then indicates his occupied lap. “In a bit.” He softly smooths his thumb over Frumpkin’s forehead. “I am plenty warm already.” 


	9. Mollymauk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the final chapter! I can't believe it. I am going to miss writing this series so much, which just means I'm going to have to latch onto another plot idea very soon. I adore writing these characters, especially Caleb and Molly. This chapter very much came from my heart and a personal place. 
> 
> Tieflings can purr. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has followed each chapter as I've been updating, and for everyone who reads this in the future, too. I appreciate it so much, especially all of your comments and kudos. Please keep leaving them. They fill me with so much joy. 
> 
> <3

Molly’s tail gives him away. The way it flips and curls and swishes is all too familiar. 

“What are you up to, Mollymauk?”

Caleb watches him look up from the paper he’s been drawing on for a while. There is a moment where his lover looks caught out before it’s disguised with an innocent smile. But his tail flips the other way and Caleb recognizes the signs of mischief when he sees them. 

Brightly, Molly replies, “Nothing at all. Why would you think I’m up to anything?”

“You are somehow charming and too transparent at the same time, liebling.”

“Beau calls it ‘being obnoxious,’” Molly quips, smirking. There is a shine in his eyes that has Caleb tilting his head and smiling while he looks at Molly, thinking how cute he is. 

Immediately, the shine becomes a bright glow as Molly gazes back at him. 

“There’s that smile. Been missing that,” Molly says softly, pushing up on his palms and sliding his legs up so he’s on his hands and knees and can crawl over his scribbles toward Caleb. Caleb’s smile becomes slightly sad as he begins to apologize, but Molly shushes him, cupping his cheeks. “We’ve had a shitty couple of weeks. There wasn’t much to smile about.” 

Molly presses a brief, sweet kiss to Caleb’s lips. “That’s what I’ve been up to.” 

“Mm? What is?”

“Something that would make you smile.”

When Molly begins to lean back, Caleb reaches for him and pulls him back, now the one to cup Molly’s cheeks as he kisses him. The slow press of their mouths together brings a quiet, pleased sound out of Molly that Caleb adores.

Pulling away is difficult. Molly’s lower lip glistens when they eventually do. 

Caleb breathes, “Something that makes me smile is you.”

Arching up behind him, Molly’s tail curls in the way Caleb knows means he’s exceptionally happy. It comes with a gentle rumbling from the tiefling’s chest. Then Molly twists around to pick up the paper he’d been so busy with. When he turns back, Caleb realizes it’s actually a small book’s worth, and Molly hadn’t been drawing on it. He’d been-

“What’s this?”

Molly takes one of Caleb’s hands, then the other, so they’re held out with the palms up. He presses the stack into them, biting his lip with a fang to try to hold back his eagerness. But his eyes meet Caleb’s and it’s full in his voice as he says, “We won’t be back on land for a while and I know you finished the last of the books you brought.”

“You- Molly, you wrote a story for me?”

“I hope you like it.” 

Looking down at the top sheet, Caleb takes in the stilted letters and the small smudges along the edges where Molly didn’t hold his hand up high enough and rubbed the ink. Quickly, he glances to his lover’s hands, sees how the gold ink chosen stains lavender fingertips, and feels warmth filling his chest. It is one of the most precious things he has ever been given.

“If you need me to read portions of it for you, I can. I know my handwriting is-”

“I can read anything.”

Molly’s laughter is exuberant. “You mean you  _ will _ read anything, even if more than half the words are misspelled.”

“Especially if it is written by the man I love,” Caleb replies softly, setting the story down in his lap so he can reach out to brush back a curl falling over Molly’s face. “You have only been reading and writing for a few months, and you did this for me.” 

They gaze at each other. Molly’s tail swishes, pleased. “I wanted it to be something you can have when you need something light and happy.”

Hand sliding through soft waves to cup the back of Molly’s head, Caleb draws him in and Molly very willingly moves into his lap, leaning down to meet Caleb’s lips. The spade of his tail brushes along Caleb’s back as Molly wraps it around them. They both smile into it. 

Without pulling away, Caleb says, “You are very good at making me feel that way.”

Molly hums. The vibration of it tingles, even after the kiss ends. 

“I will have to have this bound as soon as we are in a city again. Should I read it now?” Caleb asks, securing one arm around Molly’s waist as he lovingly picks the papers back up. 

“Definitely. I’d like to know what you think.” 

Meeting Molly’s eyes, Caleb’s thumb strokes over his hip, before he looks down and begins to read. There’s a small smile at the corner of his mouth, which forms slowly into a disbelieving grin after only two paragraphs. 

When he looks up, Molly is grinning, too, on the brink of laughter. 

“You wrote me smut?” 

“I know you borrow all of the books Jester picks up. Plus, don’t they say you should write what you know? Beau said people say that.” 

The laughter breaks free.

It’s such a beautiful sound, Molly thinks, as he listens to it rise out of Caleb.


End file.
